Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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