You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
