I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
