Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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