All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
