i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
