Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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