I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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