Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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