Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
