if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
