I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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