my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
