I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
