Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
