the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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