I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
