My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
