i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
