ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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