I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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