He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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