It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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