i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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