3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
