I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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