you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
