Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
