Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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