How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize