wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
