yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
