I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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