I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
