false alarm. still invincible.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
