I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
