You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize