I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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