We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just pee around me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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