Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
