Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just pee around me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
