Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
