Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize