Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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