now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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