Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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