Me too!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
