So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
