But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
