Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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