it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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