so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
