I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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