i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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