i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
