i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
home. puking in laundry basket.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
