I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
