She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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