This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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