Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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