Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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