somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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