you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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